Throwing My Hat in the Ring...Again

The opinions expressed below may be offensive to some; continue reading at your own discretion.

I think this is the fourth time I've tossed my hat into the presidential campaign ring.  As you can plainly see, I have been unsuccessful in my bid three times.  Perhaps the fourth will be the charm.

Here's part of my platform:

ALL gas tanks will be filled from the driver's side--no exceptions.  Why haven't manufacturers come to that conclusion themselves?  No more jockeying for a spot at the pumps.

ALL convicted prisoners will be microchipped.  No exceptions.  We spend millions of dollars tracking escapees; microchips will eliminate the need for manhunts and pay for themselves many times over.

There will be a child-free shopping day each week.  That's right, plan ahead, because no children will be allowed in any shop on the designated day.  And perhaps that day will also be cell phone free, as well.  Remember the good old days of leaving home to get away from screaming kids and the ringing phone?  What was wrong with that?

Remember turn signals--or when people used to use them more often?  It's not like we have to stick our arm out the window in all kinds of weather before the invention of turn signals.  My suspicion is that there was more signaling in those days than now.  And why are turn signal lights so small?  Most cars are bigger but have smaller lights.  Why is that?

This is just the beginning of my campaign.  Let's get the word out.  Stroud for President!  And I am going to be the first tiara-wearing president.  And I may carry a wand scepter.  The Queen shouldn't have all the fun!

Blissful presidential-hopeful hugs,
Sharon