Voting Quilters of America: In an effort to gain more votes than in prior elections, I am going to ramp up my campaign.
When I am President, the BASE of the food pyramid will be CHOCOLATE!!!! And the dairy portion will be chocolate ice cream! And not the fat-free stuff, either.
Your right to bear needles, scissors and thread through airport security will be assured. All quilters will be issued special badges that allow them to sail through security. Everyone knows (or should) that quilters cannot pack light. No extra baggage charges will be allowed for extra suitcases above the allowable limit if they are packed with quilting supplies.
No one will be allowed to say "Wouldn't it be nice if you finished something?" As your presidential candidate, and in the spirit of full disclosure, I can honestly say that I have over 120 UFOs. I doubt that many of you can top that number, so be sure to print this post to show to the "Finishing Police". As your soon-to-be-elected President, I will pardon all quilters with vast numbers of UFOs. There will be no more guilt, no more shame, no head-hanging in public (or in private).
So, fellow Americans, remember that we are not limited to the usual Presidential candidates. In a bid to stop the madness, I am stepping forward in denim and patchwork, with needle, thread and thimble at the ready. And, although to some it will look tacky, I have an ever-increasing supply of tiaras and tiara-like head wear. I truly want to be the outstanding candidate! (I doubt anyone else running will have such exuberant head gear.)
With those words to mull over until next time, I remain your best hope for a brighter tomorrow.
With presidential-like hugs (I'm practicing so I'll be really good in November),